How to Downsize a Home When Everything Feels Sentimental
If January is about momentum, February is when we turn more inward. It’s the time of year when we slow down enough to notice what our homes are holding, and how much of it we have an emotional attachment to. In our work, we’ve realized that downsizing doesn’t happen all at once. One item leads to another, and suddenly a box of photos takes up an entire afternoon and a crate full of holiday decorations stirs memories long forgotten. For many of our clients, this isn’t simply sorting – it’s revisiting. That’s why we so often hear, “Everything feels sentimental.” And in many ways, it is. When you’ve lived a full life, the things around you become reminders of who you’ve been, where you’ve been, and the people you’ve loved along the way.
We also see how easily this process can become more complicated when families haven’t had a chance to talk openly. Many parents assume their children will want the larger, traditional pieces – furniture, china, collections that once anchored the home. In reality, it’s often the smaller, more personal items that mean the most to the next generation: a handwritten recipe card, a quirky holiday tin, or a piece of jewelry with a story attached to it. When those assumptions don’t line up, confusion and hurt feelings can surface. Having these conversations early helps families better understand one another and move forward with far fewer surprises.
We often remind our clients that letting go of an item doesn’t mean letting go of what it represents. The meaning lives in the story behind it, not the object itself. Capturing those stories, through photos, recordings, or short written notes, can preserve that connection while still allowing people to move ahead by giving it away. And perhaps most importantly, we encourage families to just slow down in the moment. Emotional decisions take time, and reflecting on a lifetime of memories warrants (and deserves) a lot of care and patience.
Q&A with Alesha Filiatrault
What is one thing you wish people understood before they begin the downsizing or rightsizing process?
I wish people knew that downsizing works best when you start with determining what you’re keeping. The things you love and use every day serve as anchor points, since you KNOW you’ll need them in the future. This approach shifts the process away from the overwhelming idea of a “purge” into a more definitive plan. When our clients are able to have a clear vision of where their most useful and treasured items will be going in their new space, they become more hopeful and energized overall.
What is the most commonly overlooked aspect of downsizing that ends up being harder than people expect?
People expect downsizing to just be physical…the sorting, packing and moving of stuff. What surprises them is the mental toll it takes. Every drawer, shelf, and closet requires countless “micro” decisions, and those add up quickly. That decision fatigue is often what slows the process down, not the actual physical aspect of the work itself.
What are three small, practical steps that can make this process feel more manageable from the start?
- First, warm up with easy, non-emotional decisions. Head to the areas where you know will be the easiest, such as stashes of empty boxes, broken appliances, clothes, and housewares that you set aside to donate, etc… This sets the stage for progress while building momentum and confidence.
- Second, break a bigger project into short, 15-minute sessions. If you’re dreading a job like cleaning out the basement, start by focusing on one area at a time – a chest of drawers, a bookshelf, or a filing cabinet. A targeted plan like this helps you see progress more clearly, and it prevents burnout. Plus, it keeps the process feeling positive and manageable.
- Finally, save memory-heavy decisions for a separate phase…and treat them differently. Any items connected to memories or family history deserve more of your time since they are infused with so many emotions. I suggest being very intentional in this process by setting aside a specific time and date – maybe even an entire weekend – to tackle it, and make no other plans during that time if possible. Invite interested family members over if that helps, too. This way, you will have the expectation and bandwith to deal with the emotions that will no doubt arise, and give them the attention they deserve.